prepare yourselves...

...for slutty-cat-nurses! look at how stroppy we will be!

wooo!! halloween costumes for everyone! did you vote for that?

seriously though, swan dress and occidental guest-geisha will make appearances at a party near you! if near is new york or a costume ball after thanksgiving in another city!

Please encourage dave to dress as Gary Gilmore from Cremaster Cycle. Also, kidnap him and bring him to the party near me.

Combat rigor mortis with Zombie Sutras

After all those years of shambling uncomfortably with stiff, deteriorating limbs, I've discovered that yoga is good for zombies too. Nothing's better after a rough night's sleep with your leg wrapped around your waist or a long day at the office with my head lopped over to one side than a soothing session of stretches to liberate the soul, the body, and of course the braaaaaaains. 

Of course, I always thought I was alone. But apparently, a film is in production about the growing zombie yoga community:

http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/10/15/taking-the-yoga-corpse-pose-literally/index.html?hp

So nice to find such warm, welcoming zombies. Even if their flesh is still cold.

"Deus Impeditio Esuritori Nullus"

ROME is the BEST show on television! I'm so hooked on this show. I just finished Season 2 on DVD. This action packed show is SO, SO GOOD! If you have cable, I think they are re-running season two on HBO now while they are preparing thie for the third season. I mean, you will already know the basic story line if you didn't sleep through history class, or ever read any Shakespeare, but, seeeeeriously guys, you should netflix this quick fast!

This show also brings to mind a plethora for excellent Halloween costumes! I love Nurse Ratched, but I wish I would have held out for Cleopatra... dang.

Old but interesting

A few people have been asking to see/hear me play a song so I put this on myspace, even though it's from the summer of 2006.

Although after spending a week in Nashville with bluegrass kids, I'd be lying if I didn't say my (lack of) guitar skill embarrasses me a bit. I guess I could practice...

Finally, a moral excuse for debauchery!

My seminarian friend pointed me here, as I'm sure he's aware that while I'm not a christian, I often wonder what kind of sexual acts really ARE appropriate for good-intentioned christians. Luckily, the authors of this website have done their homework, meaning EVERYBODY benefits! Anal Sex, BDSM, threesomes and much (much!) more have been been served up w. a side of holiness, and there's even bible quotes to back it up! Not for the easily embarassed! My favorite quote is currentely "There is no greater gift that a bride can give than to offer her pure, unsullied maidenhead to her husband on their wedding night." Classic insight indeed!

tiger beatdowns

shout-out to the newest member of the Tiger Beatdowns - the Brawling Barista! or, is it Eden Maya Dust? You decide with the poll at right. I love a poll!! don't you? (poll is non-binding)

PUPPIES

I think we all love puppies.

Ben.c's mother, Susanne, is a dog breeder--the legitimate kind. None of that puppy mill stuff.

Her dog, Jenn, is about 5 years old and reaching the end of her breeding time. She'd been having some reproductive issues, so Susanne had her artificially inseminated at Va Tech. When the vet checked in a few weeks later, there appeared to be TEN puppies baking in her doggy oven. As you can see by the picture there, she was quite a hairy pear.

Because Jenn is a little bit older, and the last of the line of Golden Retrievers that Susanne has been working on for some time, she wanted to ensure that she'd get the best chance of having a female puppy to carry on the line. So when the proper time rolled around, Jenn went away to the vet and had a C-section.

Ten happy, healthy, squirmy wormy puppies were born into the world, Jenn was stitched up, and everyone went home. After mom and babies were home for a while, Jenn started acting a little agitated. Susanne couldn't figure out what was wrong, and after a while, being awake for over 24 hours got to her, so she took a nap for an hour or two.

When she came back downstairs...there were ELEVEN puppies. The vet had apparently missed one and Jenn gave birth to it the old fashioned way, despite having had a C-section earlier in the day. Brave dog (and careless vet)! Luckily, all of the puppies are alive and well.

If you want more puppy pictures, Susanne updates this webpage every so often with pictures of the puppies. Check back for more cuteness.

Mobile Gem Sweater Museum

On this particularly beautiful but hopeless fall day I was feeling really down until I happened upon this:



Learn more about the mobile gem sweater museum and how to rock gold spandex pants at:
http://www.leslieandthelys.com/

Prison Tattoos

This is from Technibob.com
Back in 2001, the artists’ collective Temporary Services started a project with a prison inmate named Angelo in which they asked him to document how inmates adapt to their surroundings while confined.


The project, entitled Prisoners’ Inventions, resulted in this fascinating 119-page book of detailed drawings that explain exactly how prisoners build contrivances from all sorts of found materials.

The book documents everything from how to build an electric cigarette lighter out of paper clips, ice cream spoons and parts from a hot-pot, to an electric tattoo gun made from a bic pen, a walkman cassette player and a battery, to how to use your toilet to chill your soda.

This book, above all things, proves that necessity is truly the mother of invention. Maybe the best way to really get the most creative solution to technical problems would be to lock up engineers during the design phase of their projects.

The book can be ordered from the Giant Robot store for $12.00.

dear moustache

At least, if you've lost your mind, you've still got your moustache.

Mustache moustache mustasche

love,
moustache.

Nash Vegas

Well here I am at 5am (CDT) - didn't manage to make it to bed, which I knew was coming one of these nights.

The most recent hours of the morning were spent standing with a circle of musicians - strings, super fast fingers, faces contorting with out the usual permission or awareness of their owners.

Notes had colors - browns, reds, oranges - occasionally a green or purple would fly in, but few songs were in minor.

When the music paused between songs we just stood there looking at each other - tired, as if woken from a sleep. So enrapt with the being in the present that our minds cease to think ahead enough to put thoughts into sentences.

I need some breakfast.

jen

happy october everybohdy!

in honor of October and joining this fancy group of breakdancing godzillas, I'm unleashing a plethora of lazer kittens to save the world...

a dream from dave, illustrated by rose

hi again.
So really, the dragon was a mutated crow. it got the zombie virus or whatever, and started growing, and i accidentally taught it to breath fire, so it was a dragon.

i've really got to stop accidentally teaching zombie crows to breath fire, it only turns into trouble.

originally, i was in a school with a bunch of classmates, and we launched a defensive campaign against the invading zombies, but then they all ran away, died, or turned into zombies.

we had fancy-pants compound bows though, like they use in archery competitions. we fought off the first wave, and i decided to set out on my own to get the crow/dragon before it came back for us. it sort of sucked, because it was on top of one of those giant power line towers, so i had to climb up w/o it seeing me i got about halfway up before some jerk that followed me woke the dragon up, and i had to magically float back down, run away, and do the whole fall down/ roll over and shoot thing with my last arrow.

luckily, i got it.

by the time i got back there were only a few people left at the school, and we were getting surrounded again. we took the elevator to the top floor, cuz zombies can't accuratly push buttons, and shot arrows down at them, but then somehow i was the only one left. apparently i also decided that since no one else was around, i should probably finish up fighting the zombies naked, which seems like a bad idea, in hindsight.

but, i killed off all the zombies, and was down to 2 arrows, which i used on the two talking zombie crows that crawled through a small vent and started making fun of me. jerks.

Feist

What a great marketing tool. Get your song on a new i-pod nano commercial. It is one of those tunes that gets stuck in your head, "1 2 3 4 ..." So I found her, Canadian girl Feist. I like her video for "My Moon My Man" even if it does sort of feel rather familiar....
Somebody teach me how to upload a video to the blog!

read our friends.

Gullible zineenator CT publishes great prose "Metal Detector Days" in the lit-mag supplement of RVA Magazine Holy Moly (.pdf download, go to pg 30). RVA Mag should be so lucky to get writers this good for free all the time; but it'd be better if they paid them. Personally, I can't wait for him to get a book deal so I can engross myself in his paperbacks on the train home.

Mario in Brooklyn!

Happy Fall

So I'm going to Minneapolis and then Nashville for work and really what I'm most upset about missing is The Super Massive Cuddle Party in NYC. Sometimes Rose has all the luck.

Break Up Mix

The new issue of  RVA Magazine is out now and you can hear the Break Up Mix here. Special thanks to Jeff Schmack for the awesome art work for the mix in the magazine!

Halloween Costumes

I know it's early, but I'm already SO excited! I just decided what to be for halloween. I'm calling dibbs now. No biting unless you're in another city!
READY? Drum Roll please...



That's right! I'm going to be the fifth most evil villain ever! according to the Amercan Film Institute: Mildred Ratched RN (from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest of course!)

I have a great hair dresser I just need a brand new pair white sneakers (size 8.5) and a uniform, a nurse hat and maybe a neck brace. Should I be the scary, stern Nurse Ratched, or the defeated, post-choking Nurse Ratched?

What are you guys going to be for Halloween!?

Crazy Happy Fun Time Pizza

CLICK HERE! and the scroll over the descriptions to find out about this pizza's fruity ketchup, honey maple syrup dressing and hamburgs.

Also It Never Really Was, Dave Smooth Maya Bean, and Ohyouknowocto, are all CHILLAXIN' right now! What What!