I look 47 but I'm 24

Will Tom Waits ever tour again? I mean, seriously. It seems to be something I have to do before I die. before HE dies. i'm listening to 'You Can Never Hold Back Spring' from his new "Brawlers Bawlers and Bastards" and I love his ancient salty whisky voice. I used to love-LOVE him, then I kind of fell away, then, thanx to OYK, i'm hot for him again. He's the king of the circus and the master of the drunk piano. There are few people I'd do this for, but i would fly to whatever US city he performs in, and i would program a bad film about him at my festival just to get him here. I was hoping that being BFF with Jarmusch would help, but i've never even seen that guy again, so i don't know what to do. Also, wikipedia just told me he has 3 kids.

the way wars should be

finally, something that incorporates my love of firearms, desire to waste food and my 12 year old boy heart. run, don't walk to the store. in the light seattle rain, the insult would thusly be added to the injury of being shot with a marshmallow. just don't shoot vegans and jews, that's inappropriate, unless they have a tofu and/or kugel sling, then its on!

Seriously big shout out to Dan Deacon of B'more, MD and Valient Thorr for ROCKIN MY FUCKIN EVENING last night.

It's hard to explain the best parts of their shows, but Dan's involved audience members in animal costumes, a green strobe skull, and a story about eating his friends skin and getting horny (but not hard).

JohnnyB attests that the head banging quotient was fullfilled at Valient Thorr as he barely managed to "avoid spinal compression".

Wish you were here.

Phbbt,
Jen

Why am I not on a panel?

Right now I'm in a songwriter session with Donovan:

He was 18, just arrived in London, 1964-ish, had absorbed Woody Guthie, Pete Seeger. One late morning and all his friends were horizontal and he wrote his song Colors, which he's singing now.

He's joined by Johnny Bush, who wrote Whiskey River, made famous by Willie Nelson which he's singing now. Apparently Willie's recorded it 27 times, and Johnny's giving us a new verse today:

"Willie please don't stop singing Whiskey River,
its the only thing keeping me alive.
Willie please don't stop singing Whiskey River,
I need those checks I get from BMI."

But someone really needs to find a new sound person, I've never heard such expensive guitars sound so bad.

and Peter Holsapple, who's now singing Child In You,

"Go run and play with yourself if no one else will..."

Photo: Willie Nelson & Johnny Bush, Panthen Hall, Dec. 1968

It's Raining in Austin

I'm at SXSW, maybe I'll get around to posting a few times while I'm here.

I got in town yesterday and the music part of the conference starts today, so I haven't heard any bands yet.

Last night Jason took me to a film distributor's happy hour, B-side - met some interesting folks and they pitched to me about using their DVDs as premiums in fundraising campaigns. Gave me a copy of a DOC, Before the Music Dies.

My partner in musical crime, JohnnyB, gets in this afternoon.

My interests for the evening include:

6:30 Keynote speaker: Pete Townsend
8 Charlie Louvin
9:30 Pistol Love Family Band
10 Cara Luft
11 The Wrights
1 Les Savy Fav

But who knows if I'll stick to that? Especially when the drinking begins...

Wish you were here,
Jen

p.s. Jason has 3 cats!

goodbye to a lifelong friend

I've been drag ass imploding lungs sick all week and the final pain in the ass of getting drugs is over. The trials were thus: 1. live. 2. pass the guilt trip given to me by my dr's secretary: "you haven't been in since 2005," she guilted "to which i thought, pretty good hunh?" show me any man under 30 who has been to the dr as much as me and is under 30, i've been like 4 times in 7 years, can anyman beat that? (thankyou ladies for getting an annual exam, further proving it is harder to be a girl/woman.) 3. The my pharmacy didn't fill the prescription for 3 days because i didn't have insurance and they assumed that i wouldn't want it filled without a prescription. that is to say, he'll likely have to go to the hospital first. 4. and 5. cfc's in asthma drugs have been banned making them less effective, more expensive but not bad for the environment. i could kick al gore in the balls right now. good idea with a shitty follow through and it makes me want to vote for earth destroying republicans but then i could never afford drugs.

in case you were wondering where i'd be friday night. happy birthday to me.

art + bank robbers

Can you believe it's March?! Spring is coming!

There are lots of things i keep thinking about posting to the B-G. mostly, have you noticed that a pair of teen girls in GA have beat us to the punch of stylish bank-robbing? Will their huge sunglasses protect them? (i kind of hope so, but probably some other Mean Girl will rat them out) Are they robbing to support a fashion habit? To pay for college? Or because one is preggers like in SUGAR & SPICE? (no one can talk about this without mentioning the cheerleader bank heist film)

in DC, surprisingly, there's a lot of art happening this weekend.
Friday 3/2: The Hirschhorn's AfterHours party with DJ Ian Svenonius (formerly of The Make-Up) also features a giant light-brite we can play with. A kick-off for their new show of light-based works. $10 for all the DC glitterarty you can handle.

Saturday 3/3 Hemphill's new show opens - "Tug of War" - featuring 'pop surrealism.' looks like some interesting stuff in the show with works by toymaker stars Gary Baseman + Tim Biskup, among others. i feel like I've seen a lot of these works in Juxtapose, and depending on the prices, could be a great example of Jed Perl's bitchy & insightful New Republic article on if the art world has lost it's mind. Has it? Have I because I want to buy this? Does it matter? Do i care? Am I, a mid-20s, single, middle class, educated, office worker part of some bourgeois because I desire art?

Sunday (SUNDAY SUNDAY!!) of course is hot roller derby action in Baltimore with a guitar hero and best metal outfit contest. see previous for the details. I'll be there with big tits & bigger hair in an A-shirt. what could be more metal than that?
xoro

Hail Satan, it's Final Warning!

IT'S COMING!

You know you want one.....

Who wouldn't? It's cool, stylish, has great gas mileage, and looks TOTALLY DANGEROUS!!!

Find out more!

USA a OK

The question about the us citizenship test has been bouncing around with some of my friends. Lisa said that she thought that most adults couldn't pass it. But after taking it, I'd hazard a guess around 30 %not passing and 50% being em-bare-assed about not knowing stuff, while the other 20% of us Virginians, Bostonians and die-hard political junkies know it all. The test is an interview, see if you can read it to someone or have someone read it to you. Its what I'll be doing tonight. Here is a sample test with a couple of interesting articles.

A bar secret:

One of the ways you make money at a bar is exclusivity deals. For example, in my tiny crummy bar this week camel has given $3500 plus a 20% rebate on wholesale cigs and a mess o' free stuff. Redbull wrote a check for 4k and said "eh, buy chairs." It funny because bar owners get so greedy about the kickbacks (legal and illegal) that the come to rely on them. An un-named bar in the neighborhood recently ditched Budweiser for failure to cut them their 10k (illegal) annual check. As I blog of my deals, know that they are legal, but elsewhere, not so much.

Sex Worker Art Show

featuring my fav Dirty Martini and a wide variety of other smut purveyors, writers, and performance artists, this performance is

an eye-popping evening of visual and performance art created by people who work in the sex industry to dispel the myth that they are anything short of artists, innovators, and geniuses!

Richmond - Feb 11http://beta.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif
DC - R+R Hotel - Feb 14
Boston - Feb 17
sorry seattle- yours was in olympia in Jan.

Do you know TED?

Maybe I am behind the curve but today I was introduced to TED, in particular this poet's take on the Internet. Pretty cool... There is a whole list of interesting people talking about technology. This is your life.

Support DC's all-ages policy!

On Kojo Nnamdi's show RIGHT NOW.

"For decades, dance clubs have been incubators for Washington D.C.'s thriving musical cultures, from Go-Go to Punk to Hip-Hop. But after a local teen was tragically murdered at a local club, D.C. leaders are considering legislation to curb teen access to venues that serve alcohol. We look at the recent controversy over "all-ages" clubs from a cultural perspective.

Guests

Kevin "Kato" Hammond, Publisher and Editor-in-Chief, Take Me Out to the Go-Go Magazine; Member, the Go-Go Coalition

Mark Andersen, Co-founder, Positive Force D.C.; Co-author "Dance of Days: Two Decades of Punk in the Nation's Capitol" (Akashic); and Director, We Are Family Group

DJ Eurock, Hip-Hop DJ; community activist"

Listen on 88.5 FM in DC or online here

or listen to the archive after 2pm here

Then go write a DC council member and tell them how all-ages shows helped you to be the upstanding citizen you are today.

Jen

sweet ... baby ... jesus...

OK, those of you who haven't stopped in over at Cute Overload for a while should take a little detour to the "Unusual Animals" category. It comes complete with baby otters, baby moose, baby polar bears....... oh geeeeeeeeeeeeez I can't stand it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh yeah - and don't miss the baby hippo!!!

Just look at it

Sure, 675 dollars for a magazine subscription SOUNDS like a lot, but shit, this is a crazy ass magazine.


http://www.visionaireworld.com/v2/fla_site/site.html

I would like to recomend reading about the Smell, Taste, and Light issues. Cards and Dimonds is pretty amazing too.

Additionally, I don't know how to make links in blogger.
If everyone pitches in, you can afford to buy me this.

NEATO!

I like tha explosions tha best!

A real product made from beef extract and malt, they say its for dogs. But is it also for Andrew?
(no, because it is actually booze free)
but you know i would drink it!

eh, here is the link if you don't buy it, but you should buy it.