RCR tears it up! and some guy says something about it.

Booty Queen (River City Rollergirls) Punches Y101 Morning Sludge Sidekick in the face:

A toothless wonder comments about it in his YouTube Blog:

great idea!

I might have to start eating bagle sandwiches or pizza more often.




MICROWAVE PIZZA-ON-A-BAGEL

1 bagel
2 tbsp. pizza sauce
8 slices pepperoni
2 tbsp. shredded Mozzarella cheese

Cut bagel in half. Place cut-side-up on microwave-safe serving plate. Spread each half with 1 tablespoon pizza sauce. Top each with 4 slices pepperoni and 1 tablespoon cheese. Microwave on high, uncovered, 1 to 1 1/2 minutes or until cheese begins to melt, rotating plate once.
NOTE: If heating only one of the halves, reduce time to 35 to 45 seconds.

Octopus!

OCTOPI are incredible!

Largest lake on an island in a lake on an island

:: Crater Lake on Vulcano Island in Lake Taal on Luzon (PHI)

Naughty

Lauren Knockout has a new hot mix-tape of dirty, dirty songs for you to listen to on headphones and think NSFW thoughts at work, like me. Check her out on her new radio blog. you'll be glad you did - no one can match a mix with GWAR and James Brown.
also - where is everyone?

thrillah in manillah

sensibletron sent me this today, i gaped over it instead of working; now you can too.

yowzah!!

ok, i feel like i just came out of a documentary cave & realized there was a whole world out there. here are some things im excited about now that the Fest is over:
The Coney Island Mermaid Parade. they claim it's a family show, but it's only for boobs-& -performance-art-friendly families. like ours.
the Cyclone coaster is extremely fast & dangerous. nothing says Coney Island like carnies smoking on the platform & barking at you to "GET ON! Move IT!" & then they 'hold' your camera for you while you are worrying that a) your boobs are going to come flying out of your dress atop that first hill and b) [says ct] youre going to careen either into the projects or the ocean. did i mention this 80 y/o wooden coaster is still run by levers hand-cranked by that same carnie that's 'holding' you camera. ride it while you still can.
the Wonder Wheel is also reccomended, especially in a thunder storm, as Maya, Dave, Amy & I learned last year. Mermaid Queen pic by Dave Smooth. I'll let him post the rest of the gems here or on his exceptional photo blog.

Thunders storms are one of my fav parts of summer, and there's one about on now. hopefully the sky will finally pour the rain it's been threatening for the last few days & cool us off. its one of the better things going on the east coast (sorry seattle.)

new Bjork album Volta - i've heard it a little and am anxious to buy it, thou im not sure i'll spring for the Dolby Surround delux version. i do hope i can spring for the tour.

summer = doing nothing. i hope.
summer = random trips to random places. look out Atlantic City. gambling punks looking for a spectacle are coming to your shore.

oh and in hot literature news, JT Leroy is fake. ok that that's hot or news is questionable, but what is news is that Laura Albert, who concocted the whole story/character & essentially used JT as an elaborate pseudonym has been charged with fraud and fined, seemingly because a movie contract was signed with the pseudonym and there was money involved. Now, im no legal expert, but would anyone charge any of the other famous pseudonym-users with fraud (movies have been made in their names)? is this an issue of hurt feelings? or was she truly misrepresenting herself to gain the attention of the world that, in a quest for some kind of authenticity in their fiction, otherwise disregarded her writing?

a film about boobs and ninjas

Yesterday was not a good day, I needed the kind of help that only a summer movie can give. The plan was a mild beer buzz with fantastic four: the rise of the silver surfer, but I took a last minute zig to D.O.A.-dead or alive- the film version of the video game. I was so happy. Though there are many characters in this game (and film) the director lets you know right of the bat, with intros, that we only be following the story of the three hottest girls. And while I knew that any movie the is commercially viable will be PG 13, I must assure that 10 years of xena and the industry standard of pushing the envelope coupled with computer generated bras and things of the like make for plenty of side boob (thanks peter griffin) action and panty shots, some of which solicited out loud laughs from the audience.

The plot is simple the worlds bad asses meet to compete in a martial arts tournament with a $10,000 prize. After the opening montage we get a scene where everyone jumps out of a plane and climbs up a 10 story Buddha to look over a CG city. Then there is a montage of medical exams (in undies) followed by a montage of a bunch of fights, most of the characters featured will not appear again (even if they won their fights). The fights are perfect, they have no speech, no back story, last about 1 min tops, are super kung fu bassery (sometimes in wet t- shirts) and awesome sound effects. The foley artists that would normally hit steaks or break ears of corn chose instead to make the sounds guns being cocked and fired upon a punch being thrown. Ca-chick, boom.

After that there are a couple of flashbacks followed by approximately 10 scenes all of which fall into the following categories: 1. computer programmer with glasses macks on hot girl. 2. Sexual innuendos between 2 women. 3. Evil genius hints at a master plan. After enough booo-ring of that, almost 20 min worth, we get to the improtu bikini volleyball game. There were also bikini clad score keepers. And don’t ask, you know it was in slow-motion, slow motion montage.

Then the stupid plot came back and I was bummed. It turned out the bad guy was stealing everybody’s moves and downloading them into his brain with super special sunglasses. He becomes the best fighter with feathered hair ever, until his glasses get knocked off, he gets paralyzed by ninja acupuncture and then the island blows up.

Look, the movie is poo, poo on a stick, a poo stick getting waived about in a computer generated wire fighting universe. I script was no unlike a poorly translated incredible hulk Chinese bootleg. What you need to know is summed up by the New York Times reviewer: ”The prime contestants are a ninja princess (Devon Aoki), a pro wrestler (Jaime Pressly) and an assassin-thief (Holly Valance), who all possess a similar martial artistry and allergy to clothing” - JEANNETTE CATSOULIS. And it is an ideal forgot your troubles check your brain at the door movie if you like girls, otherwise rent white squall.

More Derby Goodness

The Today Show will be filming, and there's something about cake as well.....

Also, this is the same match-up from the action-packed championship bout from the premiere (last years) season. I'm hoping it's possible to cram both roller derby and closing night at the infamous SILVERDOCS on this monumental Sunday, but w. it Fathers Day and all, we'll see which activity reigns supreme.

Look I don’t want everybody to think I’m a one trick pony. I blog about bikes and beer. In the tradition of the worlds most popular drink being for everybody, here is Kodomo no nomimono: Japanese beer for children. Unfortunately, much like the beer for dogs that blogged of before, there is no booze in this beer. But unlike the dog beer, which is marketed to dog owners, this beer is marketed towards children, children who will be happier, cooler and pull chicks better if they drink this beer. Cheers.

if you know me you know that tost is hiring, and nothing makes you meet more people than putting a help wanted sign in a bar window. the most recent and depressing applicant is stefan baile. he is no more qualified than any number of people that swing by for the job, his exp includes farm hand, granite polisher and store clerk, he is almost exactly my age. he was also a decent first baseman for the boston red sox for four years. everyone wants to be a bartender.

seattle, buy 100 of these now

in my world of living in a studio apartment with 6 bikes, this is the best thing i ever saw. all the info is at biketree.com but gist is such, it stores bikes outside not in studio apartments, locks them, loads the bike for you, is solar powered and is from the future. as a people, we deserve a lot of the cool sci-fi stuff from the future now, and this plexi-glass fugly thing is a great start for me.

Fer all you crafty types.....

Make yer own paper wallet! Providin the instructions don't confuse you. I haven't tried this yet, cuz its not something I'm likely to do well, but I know some people have had good results.

It's all right here!

Everyone knows

It's DILDO! (probably not work-place appropriate, but I guess that depends on your workplace)

YAY YOGA!

May 12-18 is DC yoga week!

Which means FREE and $5 classes all over the city.

I wanna check out classes at Capitol Hill Yoga, Shakti Mind Body Studio, and the tantra workshop at Flow Yoga Center (right near Transformer).

You should come sweat with me!

The MUST-HAVE gift of the YEAR!

The Scandinavians have done it AGAIN! Kiss and Bajs are the perfect gift for a toddler or (according to their website) the hard-to-please adult! (isn't that most of us here on the bg?)

In case these photos aren't obvious enough, these are dolls that have been designed to signify the two greatest things in the world: Healthy bowel movements. Check out more fun stuff here!

Mayor's Nightlife Proposal

Wednesday, April 11, 2007, 11:27 PM

SeattleNMA briefed the City Council’s Economic Development and Neighborhoods Committee last Thursday on our position regarding the Mayor’s proposal and provided alternative approaches to deal with public safety, noise and litter issues. Our message is the city should do a better job of enforcing existing laws, and provide additional police officers in the entertainment districts on weekend nights. Our full presentation can be viewed here at http://seattlenma.org/downloads/SNMA_powerpoint.

The non dogma version is this: basically this proposal is a ludicrous attempt to appease the only set of home voters who vote (homeowners) and will pass because my people don’t. Step it up my people, if this passes (and some version will because nobody on the council will ever get another vote from a homeowner if it doesn’t) you will end up with bars that can be closed by the city council for littering, the city council can veto the promotion of hip hop shows (specifically), requires bartenders and owners to do the job of police, and doesn’t increase funding for anything involving liquor control or law enforcement. The SPD and the liquor control board are against this because it adds more laws to their job they already publicly say they can’t enforce. And while it hurts existing business in more ways than I can list, it does nothing to prevent (zoning restrictions) new bars and restaurants opening where ever they damn well please. They Mayor is doing a big dance and waving his hands to try to show you that he is working, whereas in reality, he is a big fat tool.

Expoli-tastic! (not tarantino)

I'm watching too many documentaries in my real life, so in an alternate universe, i went to see GRINDHOUSE (& then i dreamt about car chases for two days). here's my review. get ready.

step one, bored saturday night.
step 2. nutella crepes.
step 3. copious, um, beers.

step4: sneak in the theater, hold the door!
step5: endless ads.
step6: endless trailers. appealing: HOT FUZZ (from SHAUN OF THE DEAD guys, about cops.). also LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD. yes! I was just thinking American needed another DIE HARD! (see #3)
horrible: John Cusack is grieving his dead daughter (too old to lust after unattainable women) and a ghost hunter. Sam Jackson is a saucy hotel manager with a 1970s haircut begging him not to stay in the the. most. haunted. room. ever. Dunh-DUNH! it'd be better in Japanese....
alert to Cuasck - 20-something girls will stop loving you all together if you don't stop making crap movies. you've got once more chance.

Step 7: MORE TRAILERS! only this time it looks like faux effed up film, dust, scratches and all. suddenly i am no longer in the georgetown lowes, but the Willow Lawn Mall theater, circa 1973. the floor is SO sticky. Action fans are all around me. MACHETE! - someone fucked the wrong mexican. i hear Rodriguez's making it a feature - i don't know whether i'm excited or horrified.

Step 8: oh. damn. Rose McGowan wearing gold tube-bead hip fringe, somehow not unlike Wonder Woman, is go-go dancing in front of me. she is hot and her makeup is on fire! can i do my eyes like that? why is she so foxy?
Then, PLANET TERROR has the grossest zombies i've ever seen. they are bubbling! they are still alive & turning into zombies! damn government & their radioactive war experiments gone horribly awry! Freddy Rodriguez does his best impression of Twin Peak's James, McGowan's Cherry Darling is a feminist analysis for another day, & naughty-nurse Marley Shelton is a dead ringer for this chick >

step 9: more trailers! including Nick Cage as a chinese stereotype - Fu Manchu! best role to date. good work sir.

10: tarantino has a film in this duo, but you probably could leave before it comes on & save yourself an hour. we, sadly, didn't take this advice and watched the full hour of DEATH PROOF. it dwindles almost into nothingness, clear that Tarantino has no idea what women actually talk about, or, more precisely, how they talk. the film's only credit is the indestructable Zoe Bell who stars riding on the hood of a speeding white muscle car. essentially, this movie is one long conversation leading into an excuse to do this stunt - The Ship's Mast. don't waste your time seeing the movie, she rides on the hood of the car. don't try this stunt. apparently, if you do, a crazed stunt man will chase you off the road, and then you have to beat him to death. tarantino says this is a 'women's revenge film' but, as far as brutal revenge goes, i've seen better.
Speaking of doing better - fan girls sitting with tarantino in death proof - you, too can do better. DTMFA.

So yea. Lucky for you, i hear that Weinstein Company, after a dismal opening weekend for GRINDHOUSE, is going to snip the boys in half, and hopefully tarantino's half will whither and die and stop trying to harsh rodriguez's buzz.

ROLLER DERBY ACTION!

Check it out as the Charm City Roller Girls 2nd Season Kicks off! Two bouts for the price of one! Get in on the ground floor as this season is surely gonna be OUT OF SITE! DYNOMITE!

voodoo doughnut in portland, many have heard of its wonders, the staff, couldn't give a fuck, the flavors are great, the oreo doughnut, i ate of it, til i hurt, the coco puff doughnut, divine, the maple bar topped with bacon, a legend.